Introduction to begging

Someone asked a monk whether it was difficult to beg for his food.

"No," he said, "everybody needs other people."

There are millions of Mother Teresa's

Mother Teresa spent her working life caring for the sick and dying, taking them from the streets of India and providing them with love and care. She is known the world over.

Mother Teresa, of course, is not the only one going around doing good. There are literally millions of people who are giving of themselves for the sake of others that we never hear anything about: Single mothers trying to raise their children. People who give up a career in order to care for an aging parent. Couples giving foster care to children. Volunteers who teach people how to read. People working on food programs for the poor and needy. Teachers working in inner city schools to try to make a difference. People caring for prisoners and their families. The list goes on.

Virtually every community has their own Mother Teresa. You can probably name one. You might even be one yourself.

Clergy as entertainers

I once talked to a minister who was serving as chaplain on a cruise ship. I was curious to know from him how he went about getting a position like that. He said he was interviewed and hired by the person who was responsible for the entertainment on board ship. He hired the stand up comedians, the singers and dancers, and he hired the chaplain.

I am certain my clergy friend performed his religious duties in an entirely appropriate way. But I couldn't help thinking how easily clergy can be cast into the role of an entertainer. And how easily his show can be canceled if her doesn't get good ratings.

A question for God

A medical doctor I know said when he gets to heaven, he is going to ask God why the arteries that supply blood to the heart are so small. When these arteries are blocked, a heart attack can be the result.

On the other hand, he said, dying from a heart attack is the best way to die, much better than dying from cancer or from a stroke. I'm not saying we shouldn't take care of ourselves. We should. But I'm thinking that when designing our heart, God had our best interests in mind.

Complaining

I don't like to be around people who are constantly complaining.  People who are constantly complaining suck the energy out of you.

Unfortunately, I can't complain about them because then I'll be complaining too.

Showing respect

Like many pastors, I have presided at hundreds of funerals. At the end of the service, people normally come by the casket to pay their final respects. Some make the sign of the cross. Others pause briefly for a moment of silent meditation. In Asian settings, bowing three times in front of the casket is widely practiced. Kneeling, prostrating oneself, ritualistic wailing, and burning incense are other ways people show respect for one who has passed on.

I don't think we should go around telling what people can or cannot do to show respect. There are many ways to show respect, and a lot of them are culturally conditioned.

Conserve your batteries

Sometimes I imagine myself power by two "D" batteries. On the side of my body is a compartment with a lid where batteries can be installed. I want and need to have the battery last as long as possible.

Worrying drains the battery. So does resentment. Getting upset over this and that. An angry outburst will drain the battery really fast. So I have learned to pace myself. I try not to get worked up over little things. And I can get angry only once every three months, and then only for a couple of minutes. It's a little game I play with myself.

Dr. Phil

Virtually everybody knows Dr. Phil. He is a clinical psychologist who is on TV five days a week, dealing with human relationships in a rational way and attempting to get people to make proper choices and take responsibility for their actions.

While people in religious vocations draw upon psychological insights for their work, their primary training is in theology. Theology is the study of God; more specifically, it is the study of God within particular religious traditions.

People trained in theology are called "theologians." There are Jewish theologians, Protestant theologians, Roman Catholic theologians, Muslim theologians, etc. They clarify and articulate the convictions of their faith community, and relate these conviction to human problems. Academic theologians do this through books and articles in journals. Parish pastors do this in their teaching, preaching, and pastoral care. People like Martin Luther King, Jr. did this on a national stage through the Civil Rights movement.

Next time people ask me what I do, I'll them I'm a theologist. More specifically, if a person tells me he is a behavoral psychologist, I will tell him that I am a Protestant theologist.

Jesus is calling you on your cell phone

If Jesus were here today in the flesh, in all likelihood he would be using cell phones, computers, watching TV, flying in jet planes, staying in hotels, and wearing store bought clothes. When Jesus was on earth more than two thousand years ago, he was very much part of the society in which he lived. And we should expect that it would be same if he were here today.

More than that, he probably wouldn't be recognized or welcomed. He would be a disturbing presence in our midst. And the religious powers that be will try to find some way to get rid of him, just like they did the first time around. That's entirely possible, but I hope not.

Making and keeping promises

The vows are the most important part in a marriage service. The groom takes the bride to be his wife, and makes a life-long promise to be loving and faithful through all the circumstances of life. The bride makes the same promise to the groom. The promise they make to each other is what creates the marriage bond. The giving and receiving of rings signify that these promises have been made. Following a prayer, the minister simply announces that they are husband and wife. Strictly speaking, the minister does not "marry" the couple; the minister simply officiates at a service where the couple marry each other.

Marriage is held together by a promise. Is that enough? That depends. If you married someone who believes in making and keeping promises, it is more than enough.

In 250 words or less

Following retirement, I have had two bypass operations. The total cost ran into hundreds of thousands of dollars. Medicare and my HMO paid for it.

Who am I that this magnitude of resources should be spent on me? And what have I done since to justify this investment on my life?

In the future, with a growing population of older people, it is likely that as a country we are not going to be able give everybody a bypass operation simply because they want or need one.

Unless you have the money to pay for it yourself, medical care at this level will have to be rationed. Let's say out of 50 people who want and need it, only one will actually get it. You might even be asked to write an essay in 250 words so less why you should be the one chosen.

You can say there are many more places you want to see. See your grandchildren grow up. Take care of some unfinished business. All that is good but may not be good enough. I will give you a hint on how to get to the top of the list: think Mother Teresa. Does that help?

Pastoral initiative

When I served as pastor of a church, every now and then parishioners would ask to speak to me about some personal or family problem. This does not happen very often. Most of my pastoral contacts are contacts I initiate. We make these contacts at fellowship group meetings, baby parties, wedding receptions, church picnics, and other settings where people gather. We sit next to people we want to talk to, ask about how their life has been going, and give them a space to talk about themselves. Sometimes people don't want to talk. That's okay too.

One way to take pastoral initiative is to ask yourself at the beginning of the week what three or four people need to hear from you this week. Call them on the phone. Take them out for coffee. Tell them you want to get up to date on their lives.

Pastor means shepherd. It's the shepherd's job to keep track of the sheep. That is what pastoral initiative is all about. This is not just for pastors. Lay people can function in a pastoral way too.

Making house calls

There was a time when it was customary for doctors to make house calls. For a number of understandable reasons, few do now. N0t just doctors. Nowadays people don't make house calls on each other either.

In the 1930s, when I was still a child, my mother would sometimes take me calling on her friends. We lived in Chinatown so everybody was within walking distance. We never called ahead because in those days few people had phones. We just showed up. We never went empty handed; we always brought a small gift of fruit or perhaps a package of cookies.

Sometimes we caught people busy doing something like washing their hair or cleaning house. Whatever it was that they were doing, they always stopped to welcome us and give us a cup of tea. They never gave the impression that we were bothering them.

It was still like this in the 1950s when I started as a Chinatown pastor in the 1950s. We made pastoral calls just by showing up. When we moved into the 60s, things began to change. Families were moving out of Chinatown so they were farther away. Often both parents work so you cannot go calling during the day. In the evening, they are busy preparing their meals and doing their laundry, watching their favorite program on TV, getting the children ready for bed. If you do come to make a call, it is expected that you call first. And when you do call, you sometimes get the impression that you are bothering them. So some of us who pastor churches in urban settings stopped making routine pastoral calls all together.

The kind of calling we were able to do in the 1930s is not going to come back. In our present context, we have to find new ways to stay connected, nurture our relationships, show hospitality.

Yet something else to be thankful for

Offering a prayer of thanksgiving before a meal is a customary practice in most religious traditions. Every time we sit down for a meal, we are reminded again of our utter dependence upon God.

I attended a chapel service at a theological school one day many years ago when a lay woman was the speaker. She talked appreciatively of her husband, of his deep commitment to Christ and his spirituality. She said before they make love, he would say a short prayer of thanksgiving.

I don't know whether that will become a common religious practice or not, but it highlights the fact that sex is a wonderful gift from God, and when used responsibly and appropriately, deepens and enriches the relationship between two people who are committed to one another. God made us sexual beings, and God intended it for our good.

Passing gas

     Passing gas is not acceptable in social situations, and can be a cause of great embarrassment.

     In Hong Kong, I was browsing in the book store and found a children's book written in Chinese about passing gas. Through diagrams and a simple text, the book explains the physiological mechanisms involved to help young children to feel comfortable about normal bodily functions. .

     When I was in the hospital recovering from a bypass operation, I was told that passing gas is a sign that the intestinal tract is working properly again. I never thought that I would be singing the hallelujah chorus when it finally happened.

     You can thank God for good bowel movements too.

What you need to know about public speaking

Before you speak to an audience, you need to do a few things to establish rapport. In America, a common practice is to tell a joke. The underlying assumption is that the people are a bit distracted or tense, and you need to get their attention and loosen them up a bit.

In Asian societies, the common practice is to offer an apology. You say that you are unprepared; that in fact you know very little about the subject at hand; that there are people in the audience more qualified than you; and ask for their indulgence for any errors or omissions you might make. This does two things: you lower the expectations; and you come through as the truly humble person that you may be.

A scholar reading a paper at a symposium in Japan said this before his presentation: "In America where I come from it is customary to begin a presentation with a joke. I understand that here in Japan it is customary to begin with an apology. Since I am not certain what I should do, I will apologize for not telling a joke."

Getting your children into the best schools

Parents who have the means will do to extreme lenghts to get their children into the best schools. They realize that without a good education, their offspring may have a difficult time making their way in the world. They want their children in a safe enviroment; they want them to have the best teachers. I find this very commendable.

Now I would like them to take this one step further. If they would take what they want for their own children and extend it t0 everybody's children, that would be even better.

People we need

One day listening to the radio, I heard a symphony conductor say this: "When people look back to the 20th century, they would say what we humans did to each other was senseless, savage, and suicidal."

A thousand years from now, school children would be told that back in the 20th century, human beings actually sent airplanes over other people's country to bomb their cities, killing and maiming men, women, and children.

When people fought with each other by throwing rocks at each other, shooting bows and arrows, firing rifles, the damage they could inflict was limited. Today we have the capability of making planet earth uninhabitable. This is truly frightening. If we don't learn the way of peace, we won't survive. The world being what it is, we need a strong military. But we need peace makers even more.

What do you call more than fair?

     Jesus told a story about a owner of a vineyard who went out at 6:00 in the morning to hire day laborers, promising to pay them a day's wages, a sum adequate to support one's family at a subsistence level. At 9:00 he went to the place where day laborers gathered, and when he found that there were others were still needing work, he offered them jobs as well. He did the same at 12:00 noon, at 3:00, and again at 5:00. At 6:00, all the day laborers lined up to be paid, starting with the ones who came to work at 5:00.
   
     When the workers that came at 5:00 were paid a day's wages for one hour of work, everyone was surprised, anticipating that those who worked longer would get paid more. When it became apparent that the owner was paying a day's wages to everyone regardless of the number of hours worked, surprise turned to anger. The workers who had worked  many long hours during the heat of the day complained that what the owner was doing was unfair.

     The owner's reply was straight forward: I paid you what I promised. Beyond that, I have money at my disposal; I chose to give everyone who worked today enough to live; for that, they need a day's wages.

     So this parable is not about how to run a business. It's about helping those in need. He was fair to all; and more than fair to some. There's unfair, fair, and more than fair. We have a word for more than fair. That word is "grace."

Having a Place

     Everybody needs a place. A place to live, a home. A vocational place, a place to work. A social place, to belong to one's clan and society. Much of life is spent seeking and consolidating our places. We strive for better places, higher and more secure places.

However, it was not this way with Jesus, who said of himself that he had so place to lay his head, but spent all his life making places for other people; and when he finally left his disciples, he said "I go to prepare a place for you."  Remarkable.

Send your children to piano lessons

     Growing up, I did not receive an adequate musical education, and have always envied those who did. So when we started our own family, we sent all four children to piano lessons when they were young
   
     We didn't ask them whether they wanted to take lessons, we just sent them. By sending them, we were not forcing them to them to play the piano; we were giving them an option they would otherwise not have. 
   
     We also brought our children to church with us on Sundays. We didn't ask them whether they wanted to go. By so doing, we were not forcing them to embrace our faith, but we wanted to give them an option they would not otherwise have.
   
     Some parents tell me that they want their children to decide for themselves in matters of faith. That they will decide for themselves goes without saying. I take my children to church because I want to expose them to an option which I believe merits their serious consideration. What kind of parent would I be if I didn't do that?

From Theism to Meism

      I am interested in the fact that the Bible never raises the question about the existence of God. Common people thought it to be more or less self evident, not something that needed to be argued or proved.
   
      Human life is seen as fragile, limited, transitory, and precarious; like a flower of the field, human beings are here today and gone tomorrow. God is the one certain reality, the only reality that remains.
   
      By contrast, modern sensibilities began several hundred years ago with the philosopher Descartes. For him, the one thing certain was himself. "I think," he said, "therefore I am."
           
      Since then, we have gone steadily from Theism to Meism. Worth considering again is the biblical order of things: God is; therefore we are; we are; therefore I am.

Praying for One Another

    Pastors like me are expected to call people who are in the hospital. What we do when we get there depends on the circumstances. We ask how the patient is doing. We show our concern through empathetic listening. Sometimes we bring communion, or baptize a dying patient.
     Almost always we pray with the patient. In prayer, we acknowledge that we have no life except the life that God gives us; we ask for God's presence and the assurance of God's leading; and we affirm our faith that nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
     One day I was visiting a church member in a long-term care facility. I was concerned that she had become increasingly withdrawn and unresponsive. When it was time to pray, I said, "Deanna, I am going to pray for you; and when I'm done, I want you to pray for me and what I do." She did. After all, she is not the only one who needs prayer. I need to be prayed for too.

Who are these dress in white robes?

About ten years ago my unrologist sent me to radiation treatment for early stage prostate cancer. In the treatment center are several small dressing rooms where patients take off their street clothes and change into white gowns. From there patients go and sit in a small waiting room waiting to be called. In our identical white gowns, all evidence of personal identity is erased; we are bound together by our common need. I thought about Muslims making their pilgrimage to Mecca. To erase personal distinctions of wealth, position, and social standing, they are all dressed in plain white gowns to signify the equality of all befoe God. One day when I was leaving the treatment center, I met a man who looked vaguely familiar. He turned out to be the urologist who sent me to radiation treatment. Like me, he was also receiving radiation treatment, in his case for a cancer in his mouth. In our need we are all the same.

The Scrabble Driven Life

Scrabble is a board game where players are given tiles with letters of the alphabet. The object of the game is to use the tiles to make words in such a way as to accumulate the highest possible numerical score. Winning at Scrabble involves doing what you can with what you have. Life is like that. In life, there are certain givens that cannot be changed. You take what you have and see what you can do with it. A lot of the kind of person you are becoming ultimately depends on you.

What I want most is to be loved

"I want you, I need you, I love you" is a song written by Maurice Mysels and Ira Kosloff and made famous by Elvis Presley. When John says he "loves" Mary, John may be really saying that he wants Mary, or he needs Mary. Love, however, goes beyond wanting and needing. If you love your children, or your parents, or those in need, you are willing to make sacrifices in order to bless their lives; love is our ability to move beyond ourselves to embrace the needs and aspiration of another. In this sense, everyone wants to be loved. It is all right to be needed and wanted; but being loved is the best of all.

Help the needy, go on a cruise

A lot of my retired friends are going on cruises. They have the money and they have the time. You can go on some cruises for as little as a hundred dollars a day. You can order whatever you want at meals; and you can eat as many meals as you can handle. You can relax, enjoy yourself, be entertained, and have all your needs met by a host of people who are there to serve you. Recently I have been thinking about the people who work on cruise ships. Many of them are from poor countries; they are absent from home and families for long periods of time; the hours are long and the work demanding; and the pay is not that good. But this is how they support their families. Next time people ask you why you are going on a cruise, tell them you are providing employment.

A prayer that is always answered

When you have something you badly want, there is nothing better than having God on your side working for you to make things happen. God always responds to your prayers, but God does not also answer your prayers; that is, give us exactly what we ask for. However, there is one prayer that God always answer, and that is the prayer where you tell God that you want what God wants: "God, I want what you want for my life; I want what you want for my children; I want what you want for the world." That is the prayer that God is waiting for you to pray.

Why we go to funerals

There are three reasons we go to funerals. One is to express love for the person who has died, and t0 celebrate the ties that bind us together as husband and wife, parents and children, relatives and friends. The second is to express gratitude to God for how that person has enriched and blessed our lives, for what she was able to accomplish with her life, and for the things that gave her joy. Finally, we go to funeral to express once more that God is present with us in our sorrow to give us the peace that only God can give, which the world cannot give, and which the world cannot take away. Nothing can ever separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I am ordained as a minister of the Gospel, and it's my job to tell you that.

I don't answer questions anymore

Following a presentation to a group, there is usually a time when the speaker will answer questions from the audience. The practice assumes that every question has an answer. When I speak to a group, I usually say that will be happy to repond to questions. This gives me a bit more latitude. Most really important questions don't have answers --- at least not simple answers. A lot of our life is about struggling with the questions.

Dying is not the worst thing that can happen to you

Nobody wants to die. The human organism is programmed to do whatever it takes to stay alive. But the fact is everyone will die some day. The Bible says 70 years; and for the few who are strong, perhaps 80 years. Like all living things, we come into being, we grow and flourish for a time, and then we will cease to be.
The fact that biological life is short does not make it meaningless. It means that every moment is precious; that God never intended for us to have any empty time; so none of it should be wasted. So the worst thing that can happen to you is not dying, but wasting your life. Please don't do that.

Every marriage is a struggle

Every marriage is a struggle. How can it be otherwise? You have two people coming together. They have different personalities. They come from different backgrounds. They have different needs and aspirations. They must dance their way through life, always holding on to one another, leading and following, giving and receiving, forgiving and being forgiven. If two people truly love each other, they will remember that through all this, to be patient, and to be kind.
I Cor. 13:4, Love is patient and kind.

Kite Flying

When you fly a kite it's very helpful if the wind is blowing. When the wind is not blowing, it is still possible to keep a kite in the air by running with the kite and generating our own wind. When the wind is blowing, kite flying is joyful and easy. When it is not, it can be exhausting.
Staying alive is like trying to keep a kite in the air. Sometimes the wind is blowing for us. Sometimes it is not.

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